Meeting God at the Door

Meeting God At The Door

Meeting God At The Door

[00:00:00] Jeremiah: Hello!, my fellow, terrestrials coming to you from an RV deep in the Carolina mountains. Welcome to the what if they’re wrong podcast, the podcast that wants you to question everything, your reality is about to be shattered.


Hello, this is Jeremiah. And thank you for listening to the, what if they’re wrong podcast. I’m joined today by Kaelin, and he’s going to talk about his near-death experiences or his near death experience. And we will just pick his brain about what he’s learned from. That experience. So I’ll introduce him now.

Hello, Kellen.

[00:00:59] Kellan: Hi Jeremiah. And thank you for having me. First thing I want to do is just honor you in your episodes. So everybody can hear that because of the work you’re doing and the effort that you’ve taken to create something, anything to help people ask. What if they’re wrong to think for themselves to dig into stuff and to create their own feelings, opinions, and to listen to.

Voice yearning and drive that we all have inside to do B think something.

[00:01:25] Jeremiah: Oh, thank you very much. So the first question I’ll ask you is, cause I asked everyone I talked to that has a near death experience. I’d like to know where they were at in life and. Relationship with spirituality, religion, or lack there of, so like when I had mine, I was a atheist, so it completely changed my view and philosophy.

So I just like to ask people where they were at in life, what they were doing, how their relationship was before they had. Their experience.

[00:02:05] Kellan: So I had one experience where I died. I had more than one divine experience. My, I was raised in a very, very strict religious home, and the strictness is represented by physical discipline.

That today would be felony child abuse, and we would have been removed. I would have been removed from the home. Um, I remember in high school, for example, getting dressed last in locker room. Cause I didn’t want people to see I was black and blue, uh, kind of thing. And the context of that was that I didn’t hate religion.

I just turned it into, I’m not good enough. And that created this whole. Uh, issue with depression and feeling like I had to prove something and not good enough. My lasted my whole life. Basically. I never talked to anyone until I was 52. I had a wild ride of really big corporate success, making a lot of money in a very technical field, uh, electricity market and deregulation, electricity market design, and a bunch of things that are probably about as interesting as watching paint dry.

But anyway, um, Uh, that went on and on and on. And I burned through multiple relationships. I was married and divorced. Three times had 10 kids. I had trouble with drugs and addiction and religion and heaven and all that. I, you know, my upbringing didn’t turn me off to it. Turned me off to me. I figured it was out there somewhere, but I just, wasn’t going to be able to be part of this cause I wasn’t good enough.

So that’s kind of the landscape during that 35 years, between when I was 17 and left home in 52, when the first divine intervention happened, uh, Different times I was in and out of churches and trying to, but it was all in the context of making my mom happy. So I stuck with the idea that somehow I needed to prove I was okay my whole life.

And I never talked to anyone and just figured I was the mess, the mess. And like I said, in and out of rehab, I attempted suicide a couple of times. So it was a pretty tumultuous, um, Thirty-five years, multiple, like I said, multiple relationships, three marriages and divorces and 10 kids and all kinds of crazy stuff.

In 2007, that all came to a screeching halt. I was at the pinnacle of that career. I was making enough money that. Th the, I was wasting spending using, I had a $3,000 a week cocaine habit, and I was making enough money that, that didn’t matter. It was lunch money, essentially, which is kind of tragic. Can you consider how stupid that is?

But anyway, I had a divine intervention at that time. That completely, it was an invitation really to change my life. I did not die. And that is not the near-death experience. After that I realized. That I had been invited by the divine to change my life. So from 2007, until 2018, when. So 10 years, plus almost 11 years, uh, when I did die and I’ll, we’ll get into that story in a minute, I had a very strong relationship with the divine and spiritual connection and knew that there was something there I had witnessed it incredible set of experiences.

Two things that I got out of the business I was in, walked away from the career, just sort of walked off in the sunset and created a new life. And so that was the divine intervention that both got me sober and then got me the courage to go address the depression, start talking to people for the first time in my life, take control of it and go do something about it.

It was then I walked away from the technical career I had and became a coach, which I am now. And so for the last 14 years, I’ve been pursuing that path and have, as I said, a very strong spiritual relationship and very personally. Relationship with the divine. It’s not an abstract thing out there. It’s very clear, close and personal.

And that led after 10 years in 2018 to what we’ll talk about later. So that’s a long answer to a small question, but I needed to set a little bit of stage.

[00:06:16] Jeremiah: No, that’s good. I like to deep dive into where people are at, because you don’t really know about that. Usually when you hear. Near-death experience people instantly think, oh, you’re just a religious nut or something.

You know what I mean? And, uh, so I like to set the stage for some people know that people come from all different walks of life when they have these near death experiences.

[00:06:44] Kellan: Well, let me, let me do a little bit better in 2007, what I call the divine intervention? Is it okay if I talk a little bit about that?

Uh, so I was a big dog position, made a lot of money and all this kind of stuff. And I came home in August of 2007 on one Friday night, uh, getting ready to go out party for the weekend. I was single again for the third time, had four teenagers living with me for my 10 kids, and I was getting ready to go binge for the weekend.

I might’ve come back to work on Monday, maybe Tuesday and. That was sort of typical and that’s what I was getting ready to go do. And on Friday night I was going to go out. And for some reason I had this urge to turn on the television. And that sounds like nothing, except I didn’t know how I’d had the local electronics store come and put in the biggest, coolest stuff.

Cause that’s what you buy. Right? Cause you can except I didn’t watch TV. And I realized when I went to turn it on, I actually didn’t know how to turn it on. So I asked one of the kids, my 16 year old daughter turned it off. Yeah, threw the remote at me and it, it, you know, left the room and it landed on a program I’d never heard of, but that was not weird.

Cause I’d never heard of any of them. The program is titled intervention. Now, if you know anything about reality TV, you know what that show is, it’s a show where family members call some professionals and a family meeting the other to help somebody who’s in trouble. Right. And the protagonist of the show is a high ranking executive with a cocaine press.

So I watched about 10 minutes of this and thought, screw this. I’m not watching it, turned it off, stomped around the house for a few more minutes and was getting ready to leave. And I felt absolutely compelled to turn it on again. So idea, and this time I knew how so I turned on the television and that program started over in the middle of the hour.

And no, I don’t have a DVR and no it wasn’t on the schedule and no, it can’t do. And so it scared me and I thought, holy crap, I guess I’m supposed to watch this. And I’m talking, excuse me, talking about it glibly now. But it scared the crap out of me. I thought, what the fuck? So I sat down and I watched it and it went badly.

The guy, he got mad yelled at his family, refused all the help and stomped off, but it scared me bad enough that I didn’t go out. I went to bed and when I went to bed, I went to hell. And what I mean by that is for the next unknown amount of time, the entire. Panorama of my life from young to old played before my eyes, we focused on all the suffering and pain when I was younger, all that had been inflicted on me.

And when I was older, all that I had inflicted on others by being who I was being as an addict in a creep and all the things that come from struggling with depression and bad relationships and everything else. And after an enormous amount of time, I had, I just participated in these events and watched it and the suffering was overwhelming.

I, I don’t have language to describe it. It was terrifying and terrible. And then I heard a voice and it simply said it is enough. I woke up and it was five o’clock Saturday afternoon. So 18 hours had passed roughly. And. I, I got up and realized I’d been invited to change my life. I had no idea what to do.

I had no idea how to start or where to go or what the heck, but I knew I had to get out of the business. I was in, I threw a thousand dollars worth of stuff away that I had in the house and thought, okay, we’re done. And I quit cold Turkey. And that’s the first half. And the second half of the divine intervention was two weeks later because that made me make a choice to get sober.

And I never touched that. Any of it, again, two weeks later, I had another, the other half and that was this in the position that I held. I made lots of important decisions that affected other companies worth sometimes billions of dollars. And so people were really nice to me. They gave me gifts and take hits and you know, that kind of stuff, freebies.

Right. And one thing I got was a pair of tickets to see a concert. And the concert was yo-yo ma now if you know, classical music, you know who that is, and if you don’t, you don’t, it doesn’t matter. But he’s like, oh, so I thought, well, I’m single. I don’t want to waste this other ticket. That would be silly.

So I said to the groups that I manage now, this is two weeks. I’m two weeks stone, cold sober. Now I said, who likes classical music? And some lady in one of the groups said, well, I do. And I looked at her and I said, well, if I ever given you anything before, and she said, no, I said, okay, fine. See you there. He gave me the ticket.

And now we met at the concert and it was electrifying is fabulous. Yo-yo ma you gotta look them up. If you don’t know him, he’s a phenomenal player all by himself with his cello on the stage, you can absolutely captivate an auditorium just astounding, but anyway, halfway through the show, and again, two weeks stone cold sober, that feeling that I had two weeks ago came over me and the voice said in my head, you need to marry this.

And I said, you are insane. I said, I have failed. I don’t even know her very well. And I failed three times with some other half-assed attempts in between this can’t be right. And so later that night we were backstage because of course they were backstage passes with reception and all that jazz. And the voice came back and said, comma, and you need to tell her tonight.

And so I flipped out and argued like crazy because, you know, she could have me arrested for harassment or whatever. Right. But you don’t win those arguments. So I did. And it went about like, you would have expected. She thought I was crazy and, but she didn’t call the cops gratefully. And within two weeks, uh, she had her own set of experiences and she had a very good job.

Uh, in the groups, one of the groups that I managed, like I mentioned, anyway, she quit. I walked away from millions of dollars of contracts and we walked off into the sunset together. And a month ago we celebrated our 40th anniversary. The reason that’s important is the divine intervention is because the first part got me sober, but didn’t do anything about how I got there, which was all the depression and decades of self-loathing the thing that mattered there is she wasn’t.

The angel, literally that was sent to help me figure out and work through this depression business. Like she helped me find counselors and people to talk to and taught me what it was like to be a friend, to have a friend to tell the truth. I’d never done any of that my entire life. And I’m 52 years old.

So that divine intervention in two parts completely changed the course of my life. I got out of the business. I didn’t been in for 30 years. I became an author. I’ve written 15 books, became a coach and just said, okay, if God cares enough about some, sorry, moron like me to do that, I got work to do. And that, so that was what set me on the path that I had been on for the last 14.

[00:13:48] Jeremiah: So then, um, yeah, that’s all very interesting. And obviously, well, at least I believe that you did the right thing, answering that calling because 14 years into your marriage and, um, seemed like that was divinely put in place for you and probably to help you get to where you’re at.

[00:14:12] Kellan: Well, it was my opportunity to do something good because I should made a mess out of my life, up to.

[00:14:18] Jeremiah: Yeah, with my near death. Um, I think it was a wake-up call for me to think of the bigger picture and not wallow in the stupid stuff. That doesn’t really matter. That was making me depressed.

[00:14:36] Kellan: I guess that’s the same thing. Although this wasn’t the near death, it was, uh, well, I tried suicide a couple of times before that, and I was regularly using ridiculous stuff.

I mean, I told you how much, so that set me on this path. Now you want to get to the near death experience. The first four years after that I spent seeing shrinks and counselors and trying to get a handle on depression and. Medications and just sort of working through who I was in the world, because up to then all I’d ever done is pretend I played a game and hidden and just, I was behaving as whoever I needed to be sometimes on the world stage kind of like a movie on one side, it’s like, wow.

And then the other side, it’s like, you know, behind the scenes. All right, well, so fast forward to 2018, uh, The several years working on getting my health and my depression squared away. And I was doing well, my coaching practice as well established, I’d written already a number of probably eight or nine of the, of the 16 books that I’ve now written and was doing really well.

And in June of 2018 joy, and I decided to go on a cruise and we’d never been on a cruise before. Neither one of us. And I just thought, okay, sure. So we went on a cruise, a Baltic sea, which I wasn’t even sure where it was, but it’s, it runs east and west. I didn’t know that, but it Stockholm and, you know, uh, Oslo.

Helsinki and St. Petersburg, you know, that kind of thing. And so we flew to Amsterdam and then went over to Stockholm, got on a ship 10 days, got back at Oslo. And on the last day we got off the boat. The first day in Oslo, I started getting sick, a fever bad in the second day was horrific. We flew home from Amsterdam that day, and I had a bad fever on the 13th.

1213 hour flight or whatever it is over the pole from Amsterdam to Edmonton, Alberta, where we live. And, uh, today they would have, you know, either not letting me on or throw me out the window with, with COVID. But in those days they, that was pre COVID. So they brought me ice and took care of me. Right. Okay.

But anyway, so I got home on Tuesday and that was the end of the second day of this illness. Did what dumb things that we sometimes do is Muchow idiots. I didn’t go to the doctor. So I thought, okay, I’ll get over to it’s a flu or whatever. So Wednesday, Thursday went by and finally on Friday I realized this is not getting better.

This is not going to go. So I went to the walk-in clinic, which is what they have here in Canada at that I always went to as close to the house and, um, they wouldn’t let me in, uh, the lady said you can’t come. Uh, you go to the hospital, go to yard. There’s nothing we can do for you to get out of here. So I don’t know what I looked like, but it was obviously that.

So I went to the emergency room and this is, this is day five. Now of, of this illness. That’ll be important in a minute. I got to the ER and you know, you got to, ER, you might wait an hour. You might wait two, you might wait. Three, depends on how busy they are and all that stuff. In 10 minutes, I was in a private room.

I didn’t even know they had private rooms in the ER, nothing I’ve ever seen as those curtains, you know, that they say, no, this is a private room with a door. And the doctor was in there in 10 minutes and I thought, holy crap, this is not good. Did the

[00:18:09] Jeremiah: nurses see you and say like, oh, we got quarantine, this guy or whatever?

[00:18:14] Kellan: I don’t know what the conversation was. I just know I sat down and like, literally in less than 10 minutes, they called me and ushered me into a private room. I don’t know what the conversation was. Anyway, the doctor came in right away and they asked me the same time. Where have you been? What did you do?

I told him about the cruise. I told him when I got sick, I told them I’d been home for three days, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. And they over and over again, they were trying to figure out they did x-rays and all kinds of stuff, trying to figure out what was wrong, but everybody, and they started scaring me.

Cause I thought, holy crap, like this is frantic. So pretty soon. And they said immediately, yeah, we’re going to admit you to the hospital. There’s no question. Just we’re getting, we’re finding a room in a bed. So I sent joy home because after we were there because we had dogs and cats and I was going to stay.

So I said, come back tomorrow morning, Saturday morning, and we’ll see. Well, we know, so she went home and then the doctor took me up and had to took me upstairs to the room. And then they came in and said, you know, at a minimum you have pneumonia in both lungs. And they came back in a little while and said, yeah, there’s something much, much worse going on.

We don’t know what it is. We’re probably going to have to put you in intensive care. Uh, okay. Okay. And then they came back after a little while and said, yeah. Um, we’re gonna put you in biological isolated. Which if you haven’t been in that, that is a room with double doors, air lock, kind of negative pressure biohazard crap.

Right. But, okay. And by this time I’m really like going downhill and I could feel it. So I started meditating and what. Then the doctor came back and asked the question you don’t ever want to hear. And he looked at me and he said, do we have permission to intubate you and do anything we need to do to preserve your life?

I said, uh, okay. Like what? Uh, and so then I went back into meditation, which had been, I’d done many, many, many years decades actually, but I could feel my body and spirit separately. So I sent joy. I could barely operate my phone at this point, but I sent joy a text and it had three lines on it. First-line was ICU.

Second line was isolation slash intubation. And the third line said I may be dying because I could feel that happening. And, um, She didn’t see it. Cause she was gone to sleep. It was like midnight by then. And then somewhere right after that, I crashed like crash cart, closed green, blue, red, black, orange, pink, whatever it is like gone.

So, uh, then about two 30 or three in the morning, joy got the call from the hospital. You never want to get it. Hello? Are you coming? She’s like what? And then she saw my text, right? So somewhere in there, my heart’s. And I died when I came to energetically spiritually, I was in, I was horizontal. Like I was on a stretcher or on the bed, but the room is gray, a soft photo card, gray ceiling, floor walls.

And I really couldn’t see the size of it, but it was a very soft, great over my left shoulder. I could see a door. And, uh, I could see on the other side of the doorway that it was white, it wasn’t streaming through the door or anything, but it was white on that side and gray on my side. And I had an desire to be at the door.

And so suddenly I was at the door and I was leaning on the door jam on my right shoulder and right across on the other side, on the white side, was someone else leaning on that door jam, looking at me, close enough to tell. And he looked at me and he said, do you want to come home

straight? And in a millionth of a second, I knew where I was, what the threshold was, who I was talking to and what was going on. So who

[00:22:31] Jeremiah: was this person? Do you

[00:22:32] Kellan: know at the door? Talking to me, asking me if I want to do.

[00:22:38] Jeremiah: Did he have any like features or was it just like a form or

[00:22:43] Kellan: no, it looked like a person.

It didn’t have a name tag on site saying, hello, my name is God, wasn’t wearing a name badge, but you, in that space, you just know things. Okay. And so I, I knew that’s what was being asked and I started almost like hyperventilating thinking. Holy crap. Okay.

And there was no expectation about how the questions should be answered or the timing or anything. It was just a question and it needed. And so we talked about it for a while and I thought about everything that I was doing in my coaching practice and what had happened 10 years before that I had already told you about, and the opportunities that I had already taken advantage of and what I was doing.

And after we talked for a while, the feeling I had was just, I’m not done. I, I, there’s more, I want to do, I’m not done. So after we talked about it and I said, I’m not done. He said, And that was the end of that first of three conversations the next day. And I’m sure it was at that time, they were able to restart my heart.

Um, the next day I was back at the door in the same, same thing, leaning on the door jam, talking to the same. And this question of the previous day didn’t come up and people have asked before, how did you know it was the next day? And the answer is I have no idea. You just know what you know, so the next day we’re there talking.

And then we were, then the question is, okay, what are you going to do? You know, you’ve decided to stay. That’s fine. What are you going to do? And so we talked about what we’re doing here and what I was trying to do already, and mission and purpose and. You know, the purpose of creation. And I don’t know if you’ve ever had seen the movie contact with Jodie foster.

Yes, I have actually. Okay. Well where she falls through that thing and there’s this super-intense that passes as 12 seconds that the video’s missing, but intense. Experience where she’s having all this input. It felt like that it felt like if I hadn’t been in some kind of a protective bubble, I would have been incinerated and just this overwhelming presence and amount of experience and knowledge just came washed in through, over.

Uh, when I, when it was finished, what I can summarize from it is four things that I know. Number one is every single one of us, every person in every situation throughout all history, we’re intentional created divine beings, period, no exceptions. No, we are. Number two is that every one of us was given intentionally divine gifts, talents as we came number three, none of that’s surprising.

We all feel that at different times, but this is different than feeling like I know these things. Number three, we each have a mission, a purpose that arches through and over our entire life. And we were, we not only agreed, but we were excited. We were stoked about it before we came.

[00:26:26] Jeremiah: It’s funny you say that because when I had my and D E um, I remember seeing figures and I screamed out to them, not like in a mean way, but I screamed out to them.

I have too much left to do on earth. I have a mission that I need to accomplish in. They, they were like, well, you can come, it’s fine or whatever, but I was like, adamant that I couldn’t come yet.

[00:26:54] Kellan: Well, then that’s totally the same. Exactly the same. So anyway, and then the fourth thing is that all the help we need to do that is available from both sides of that door.

So when I got done with the super-intense part of the experience, I said, well, since that’s true, why do we. Settled for crumbs, uh, quiet. Why for the most part to be settled for crumbs. And I don’t know if in the economy of heaven, brevity is a virtue, but the answer was four words that many said because you don’t believe.

And I thought, holy crap. Okay. I didn’t say duh, but I thought, duh, okay. We don’t believe so. Then I said, all right, well, what am, what am I supposed to not supposed to, what can I do about that? Oh, glad you asked. So then what followed was a framework to use for changing? Beliefs even deeply held long seated beliefs.

And I wrote a book meeting God at the door, conversations, choices and commitments of a near death experience. And I described all of that, except I didn’t go into detail about that framework because it would have been out of place in that book. But I wrote a book following it, called the book of context and context is like, What we think is possible.

It’s your beliefs, definitions, experiences, expectations, and perceptions. I call it your BD deep, straight jacket, because the things we believe experience and expect are possible. It limits what we try. It limits what we think we can have and, and all that stuff. And we all live sort of. With that. So there was this framework about how to work with those things and change it.

And I wrote it in a second book called the book of context, and it was funny that the little side note, when I wrote, I wrote both of those books kind of at the same time, one right after the other, as soon as I got out of the hospital. And, um, I, a friend of mine, who’s a retired physician lives in Baltimore.

I asked him to write the forward. For the book of context and he did, and he loved it and said nice things. But then he spent an hour trying to convince me to change the name of the book. And he said, you know, I, if you’d written the book of joy or the book of love or something, we’d understand it. But the book of context and I waited patiently till he was all done.

And I looked at him and I said, The name is not negotiable. It’s like, it’s not negotiable too. And he laughed and got it. But anyway, so that was the end. And the third day I was back at the door and this time I was excited, I was buzzing. I was repeating over and over again in my mind, the framework of context and all of the things that I’d seen and just, I was excited and that.

The third conversation on the third day was just one question. Uh, he looked at me and he said, are you sure? And I almost hyperventilated again. I thought on my shirt. Like, what do you mean? Am I sure my stupid, my biting off more than I can chew? Like, like what am I sure. So we talked about it from every possible angle and finally said I I’m I’m sure.

And okay. So nothing was said, but that conversation ended with a finality that I knew we were done and.

Um, I was in, uh, after they had restarted my heart. I was in a coma for probably 17 days. So assuming that was the first three, um, a couple of weeks later, I came out of the coma and remembering everything that I just told you is clear as the sunshine and Phoenix, where I used to live. And, uh, th that was the.

The substance of the experience. And so I wrote a couple books, meeting God at the door, conversations, choices, and commitments of a near-death experience and the companion book, the book of context, which talks about how to stop settling for crumbs.

[00:31:40] Jeremiah: So through. This experience and what you have learned from it, what would you say to someone who feels lost and trying to find their way or find their purpose? Like third divine calling, I

[00:31:58] Kellan: guess? Well, so what I know about my life is that there were many, many times I felt called and pulled to do different things and.

Ignored it or made up reasons why it’s too hard or I can’t do it right now, or it’s not the right time or I could never do that or no, I’m supposed to, a lot of supposed is right. And the advice I would give is, look, we all have to eat and have, you know, an apartment or house and take care of whoever we’re supposed to take care of.

Those things are universal. Every single person has to have some of that.

The yearnings that you feel come from the divine energy spirit that you are. And they are usually whispers. I ignored them for a long time and I had to learn to listen.

And so I don’t know advice, but here’s what I know. No matter where you are, no matter what has come before, no matter what has happened to you before this moment, it’s never too late to make a difference and to have a big impact. I also know that acting doing something is the fastest way to find that, uh, the expression of your divine gifts and to feel into those things.

That you are called to do clarity by itself. People say, wow, I’m not clear. Clarity is overrated. It is not found it is created. Yeah. That rhymes. And I made it to one of the members because some people act like, you know, I’m going to go on a safari and I’m going to dig it up in the yard. And if I just could find that clarity, then I could go do something.

I don’t know anybody that found it like that. Everybody, including me that knows what to do, found it by doing what’s in front of them. Do, and then listening, develop your skill to listen, learn to meditate, learn to be still with yourself. Like there is a, there is another part of things that we can’t see that communication from that plane or realm is almost always quiet.

And still and can, is easily drowned out by noise. I think the only reason I had that experience in 2007 is because I was thick and I needed a couple of two by four. Okay. And I I’d failed at relationships. And so, you know, God finally said yet, you don’t get to choose that one. I mean, I can’t think of it and okay.

And all of that’s true. I was really bad at it. I attracted broken people. I was a broken person. I hadn’t done terribly. So Hey, that one was just right. Even though it scared the crap out of me and her and everything else. So the advice learn to be still like I can’t push a button and make a million dollars to solve problems or get rid of some other person’s behavior.

The thing I can control is my connection to the divine. And I use the meditation to start that practice. Go ahead.

[00:35:41] Jeremiah: Uh, I was just going to say, yeah, I think a lot of people waste energy and time on trying to make things happen instead of just going with the flow. So to speak. Like, it always feels like things come easier when you just.

Let it happen the way it’s supposed to happen instead of trying to force something or, uh, push towards something. That’s I don’t know how else to describe it, but like, if I would try to do something and it just. Everything falls in place, then I know that’s what I’m supposed to do, but if it’s a ton of resistance, then I have to think about like, is that, is there a reason that it’s not coming naturally so to speak?

[00:36:33] Kellan: I used to have a real struggle with something. I now call MST manner size and time. I had a view in my mind of. Things we’re supposed to be like, you know, successful, supposed to look like this. And I had all these definitions. And as long as I lived with the idea of insisting that things happen in the manner I wanted them to, the size that I wanted and the timing I was always disappointed.

And what I finally figured out is if I look at my playbook for life, What I think is good. My playbook might not anymore, but would have looked most of my life. Like get a good job, make a lot of money, do cool stuff, have cool stuff, be healthy and that’ll be happy. And so all these things, here’s the playbook and all this needs to happen.

If I think about the creator’s playbook for life, for me or you or any of us. The purpose. It seems as for us to learn, to make good choices and to grow and to love and serve each other and to develop different indifferent and sometimes challenging ways. So if you look at those two playbooks, they’re completely different.

And any frustration that I felt was just a discrepancy in the playbook. And when I get done thinking about it, Uh, I finally learned to just throw mine away and just say, all right, I’m in. If it’s hard, that’s fine. If it’s easy, that’s fine. What’s next?

[00:38:22] Jeremiah: Yeah, it almost seems like, um, the divine will kind of help you along if you’re willing to follow it.

[00:38:36] Kellan: 100%. I want to just echo, echo, echo that because there seems to be a rule, like really a rule about the interaction that there’s no coercion, like even when the divine interventions happened, I could have brushed that off and gone and gotten high instead of throwing it away and walking away from all the work, all the money, or I could have freaked out and said, there’s no way I’m talking to this lady.

I can’t do that. I could easily have done that. It wouldn’t have been weird at all. And then those moments and things would have been passed. And so you’re you’re right. It is our choice. That choice never gets violated. It’s our choice to believe to walk into that, to listen, to say, oh, that’s scary. Okay, here we go.

Kind of thing. Yes. It’s. And also, I’ve

[00:39:33] Jeremiah: heard you talk about it, um, on a different show, but, um, I think it’s also important to speak on is the, how people let fear control. Their actions and their life and what they try to do and how fear can really hold you back from doing what you’re supposed to be doing.

[00:39:58] Kellan: Know. I have a funny acronym. I love acronyms, right? It’s wit taught w I T O T. And it stands for what I think others. And there is a degree of fear that we have, that’s all internal, but most of the fear that we have that keeps us from doing things is fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of what somebody is going to think, fear that you know will look bad and that’s all we’re taught.

And so I had a chance to talk to a doctor yesterday day before yesterday. He’s not a client. Um, maybe he but will become on, but we were talking about that very thing. And so I asked him, I said, doctor, you are so infected and I’m using infected because you’re a doctor you’re so infected with, with Todd, it’s eating your lunch.

When are you going to stand up and be who you are? And there was silence for a long time, you know, but it’s a real question for all of us. I’ve done that, you know, we’re afraid because we are, we are so attuned to external approval and validation that we have thrown away the real compass, which is the divine guidance that everyone is entitled to.

If we’ll just tune to the station, Listen up and then have the courage to act.

[00:41:31] Jeremiah: Yes. I definitely believe that. I believe that you can definitely tap into that higher power. If you’re open to receiving whatever cosmic download that they that’s available. So after this whole ordeal, have you. Any different, like, are you more sensitive to things like on a spiritual level or.

Do you feel any different internally or other than, you know what we just talked about?

[00:42:04] Kellan: Yes. All of the above. Uh, and October of that year, I went on a speaking tour and spoke four different times in four weeks. It was a little early. Cause when I get out of the hospital, I’d lost 35 pounds. I couldn’t walk.

And by October I could barely move, but I had written both books because I could sit in a chair and write on the computer. Um, at one of those conferences, uh, Q and a after I talked and one lady said, um, so what’s the biggest change for you because this, you know, happened and did not a weird question, but I just hadn’t thought about it.

And while I was thinking about it, I heard my mouth open and say, I no longer experience fear. So you ask what’s different. I no longer experience fear. And I’ve thought about. A bunch of times and someone asked me more than once. How can that be? Like, what does that mean? And my answer’s not very complicated.

It’s after what I have seen and been through what is there in any context to be afraid. I already died. I already know what’s there. I already know what I’m doing here. I already know why I’m here and what’s going on. Like, I cannot think of anything that there is to fear. So that’s one thing I no longer experience fear.

Another thing that is different for me is when I, when I meet people and visit with them, I see them differently. I have seen things now that make me know who we all are. And so I see people often in their contexts straight jacket, right. And I can see what they’re believing in. What’s holding them where they are.

And I can see that. And I understand that and I can see that it’s actually transparent and flexible, but that they don’t know that the example. I had once I was out walking my dog and Phoenix, we live in Edmonton, Alberta since 2016, but from eight to 16, we lived in Phoenix and I was out walking the dog one morning and I was walking to a corner and it was a hedge and the dog was way down below the hedge and it was a thick hedge, but I could see over it and I could see coming toward the same corner I was from the other street was another lady walking her.

And I knew that in 15 seconds, my dog was going to go crazy and jump up and down and pull and want to go see the other dog. I knew that like I knew the sun was shining, but the dog from his point of view, didn’t know. And I’ve often at that just occurred to me. And it happened just like clockwork and 15 seconds.

He went nuts and everything happened exactly as I knew, but I had seen that. And the event itself, wasn’t very exciting, except my mind sort of expanded to the idea of how a different viewpoint lets you know, things. That can’t be seen. Otherwise that makes sense. It just completely expanded my whole head and just applied to a million things in the universe.

I thought. Wow.

[00:45:39] Jeremiah: Yeah. A lot of people, um, I guess you could say auras, like you can sense auras around people like. Kind of like read them as a bull kind of thing before you actually know them, I guess.

[00:45:56] Kellan: Yeah. We all have, I mean, look, there’s two parts to us. We’ve got a container, the body part physical part, there’s an energetic piece inside.

Call it a spirit, call it whatever you want. And when the body stops functioning, the spirit goes somewhere else. Like we know that’s going to happen and.

Energetic thing. Like we don’t know what it is. We can’t really see it. We can’t measure it, but intuitively our feelings teach us and we know that it is it’s true. And our ability to communicate, to read energy, to feel things, to get downloads, get inspiration and all that stuff that is simply the operation of a set of laws and principles that we just don’t have names and words in inches and miles.

Wavelengths and crap for, and to me, it’s the Supreme arrogance to think that, because I don’t know, it, it can’t exist.

[00:46:50] Jeremiah: Oh yeah, definitely. The, uh, like I said, I used to be an atheist and the atheistic viewpoint is kind of like, you know, because I can’t hold and hold it if it’s not there. And I know now that that’s far from the truth,

There’s definitely something on the other side. And we definitely were created with a purpose. And I think some people might never find that out and some people do find it out. And I think people that have these experiences near death experiences and stuff, maybe I’m not quite sure how to. Wrap my head around why we have these experiences, but maybe we have a really important purpose.

And we’re just, I guess the creator doesn’t want us to dive off the deep end, because that’s what I got from my experiences. Hey, it’s not that bad, even though you think it’s that bad and.

[00:48:03] Kellan: So I agree with you. We have a purpose and I absolutely know mine. One of the things I’m absolutely committed to this, I’m committed to helping 10 million people discover, develop, and serve with their divine gifts, who are happy as humans happiest when we’re helping, when we’re serving and we’re doing good at that, intrinsically makes our spirits happy unless we’ve beat ourselves down to the point where we can’t be.

And even then, you know, you can change. And, and change is the fundamental constant, if there is one. And so what, like, I don’t know that I know every one of the reasons I, or anybody else’s here, of course I don’t, I don’t have that playbook, but I know enough to do what’s in front of me and I to live every life every day in excitement and like lifting and encouraging and being as everything I can possibly be with every breath.

[00:49:02] Jeremiah: Yeah, I think there’s something strange about a strange, in a good way. It’s strange that. The most happiness that you can actually achieve is by helping and by doing things for others instead of wanting for yourself. And, uh, a lot of people fall prey because of society and everything. It’s all like me, me, me.

But like the most happiest times I’ve had is when I’m helping other people. Or I see the joy on someone’s face because I gave them something or, you know, a guy at work didn’t have lunch. So I gave him money so he could eat. And that was more powerful than. Buying something that I wanted to play with there or whatever,

[00:49:53] Kellan: isn’t it interesting.

We are built that way. We, we secrete neurotransmitters oxytocin and other things that make us feel good when that happens. Well, the creator had a design there. We are designed to, to learn to love and serve each other. And, you know, we can fight that and we can argue about it and we can call it stupid or we can just live into it and enjoy it.

[00:50:16] Jeremiah: Yeah, definitely. Uh, giving and stuff will make your life more fulfilled for sure. So, um, I’ll let you plug any of your books or your, uh, I think you have said you had a podcast. If you want to plug your stuff and then I’ll put it in the show notes as well.

[00:50:38] Kellan: You know what, my only goal. I mean, I’m a coach. My work is to help people realize who they really are and then to create from that place.

Because when you live into your divine origin and your divine gifts, you can create anything you want. You can build a business, you can make more money, you can fix relationships, you can do all those things. So I never looked for clients. If you want to read about these experiences, one of the benefits of having a weird name, Kaelyn Flueckiger is really easy to find.

So if you put it in and put my name in on Amazon, you, you do have to spell it, right. But if you put my name in, on Amazon there’s books, there’s music. If you look me up on Google, there’s all kinds of. Also from my old executive days, but you know, my, my YouTube channel, my website, I, my goal is to lift and bless people.

The podcasts name is your ultimate life, your ultimate life. And if that will serve you, it’s a 15 minute daily podcast. Please listen and, and listen with the idea of being lifted and blessed and encouraged to develop your own talents and go do that.

[00:51:52] Jeremiah: All right. I will make sure to put all that in the show notes so people can easily find it and put your name down there so people can easily spell it

[00:52:02] Kellan: out.

Well, there’s only two Kellen flu. Kegers in the world out of 8 billion people. And the other one is my son. So nobody can tell me, I can’t find you unless you’re spelling my name wrong. If you’re spelling it right. I can’t hide.

[00:52:20] Jeremiah: All right. Well, thank you for being on the show and sharing your experience.

Definitely, um, is something I am interested in and love hearing other people’s perspective and stories, and definitely trying to help other people make it through this crazy life that we, uh, chose to do.

[00:52:42] Kellan: If there’s anything I could leave, it would be two things, one acknowledgement, and. Honor for you for putting your time and effort and energy to lift and bless people.

A phrase I use is add good to the world and I love what you’re doing. And it would be a final note of encouragement to anyone that listens to your podcast like quitting and giving up and being discouraged and yelling at the world or God or whoever that’s always available to us. You can always quit, but nobody writes those stories.

Your heart will not be satisfied with. Your soul yearns for more, because you are more, you want more, you were born to more and whatever you have to do to continue to do good, add good, be good, serve, love, lift. Those are the emotions and energies that build and create and will ultimately triumph in every.

[00:53:43] Jeremiah: That was fantastic. So thank you for coming on again, and, um, we’ll have to hopefully get people to look at your books and, and get something from this podcast so they can have a better, more fulfilled life. Thank you.

[00:54:04] Kellan: Thank you for.