The Sex Trafficker’s Wife

The Sex Trafficker's Wife

The Sex Trafficker’s Wife
[00:00:00] Jeremiah: Hello, my fellow Terrestrials coming to you from an RV deep in the Carolina Mountains. Welcome to the What If They’re Wrong podcast, The podcast that wants you to question everything. Your reality is about to be shattered.
Hello and welcome to the What If the Wrong Podcast, the podcast. I want you to question everything we are here today, uh, with Amanda Quick. I’m Hearst Jeremiah, and I’ll introduce Amanda here. How you doing?
[00:00:48] Amanda: I’m good. Thank you
[00:00:49] Jeremiah: for having me. Yes. Thank you for coming on speaking with us. Um, you sound like you have a crazy story, so we’re gonna probably get into that.
And , I real, I personally want to hear about it cuz I like true crime stuff as well and it kind of scratches that itch too. It does. So, um, so we’ll start with, you have a, I’m assuming you’re a divorce now. Yes. Um, you had a husband who got arrested for trafficking,
[00:01:19] Amanda: attempting women trafficking was the official charge.
[00:01:23] Jeremiah: Yeah. So can you take us back to like, how did, how did this all come about? Like, were you, were you with him for a while before this happened or was it something that you had no clue was going on
[00:01:36] Amanda: or? So it was 2016 and I at the time had three children stay-at-home. Mom. I had been a stay-at-home mom for about five years.
My oldest was not quite five and my youngest was a baby. And I had, we had, I had been, been together probably eight years at the time we were married for about five. And so I thought I knew who I was married to , and one day he just didn’t come home. Now he worked long hours. I, as a stay-at-home mom, I, I had the privilege of being home because he made decent money so that I didn’t have to work.
And that meant he worked 12 hour days sometimes. So it wasn’t unusual for him to work late, but it was unusual for him to not come home. And I, I went to bed. I remember at about 10 o’clock being like, I don’t know what, he’s coming home. I don’t know what’s going on. He’s not answering his phone. But that also wasn’t that unusual for him either.
If he got sucked into something and I went to bed and I woke up at two o’clock in the morning. Still No. Still no there. I called the hospitals eventually at 5:00 AM I called the non-emergency line and they sent me to the jail to see if he was there, and that’s when I learned he was there and hadn’t been arrested for attempted human trafficking with a $250,000 bond.
And to say I was shocked is an understatement. I was like, What does that even mean? Like I didn’t even understand what the charge meant. I thought that was like shipping containers, that that’s where my mind went when I thought trafficking. And what I later learned, it was a stinging operation. It was a sting operation to meet an 11 and 14 year old for sex.
And he showed up and was arrested shortly thereafter. And the trafficking is actually about buying and selling people who, for things such as
[00:03:25] Jeremiah: sex. So he was trying to hook up with two underage girls at the same
[00:03:31] Amanda: time? Yes. They were offered. And he chose to say he wanted both? Yes. Oh,
[00:03:37] Jeremiah: so he went through like, uh, I guess pimp, for lack of a better term.
[00:03:41] Amanda: Yeah. So pre it was Backpage at the time. It’s no longer in existence, but it’s the, the Craig’s list essentially for hookers. And he, the ad advertised adults, but as soon as he connected with these people, they offered children and he decided to go through with it, and he wanted both of them, and he agreed to meet them and showed up and bailed at the last minute.
He didn’t complete the transaction because, In his experience, you don’t pay till after. And when they wanted money up front, it freaked him out and he left. But then he was arrested shortly
[00:04:18] Jeremiah: thereafter. Yeah. Cuz I think, um, I watched that to catch a predator show when it was out. I don’t know if you remember that, but um, Yep.
Yeah. It doesn’t matter if you do anything or not, it’s the intent to it.
[00:04:30] Amanda: It is. And they had clear intent and they, the fact that he showed up and the things that he had on him, he had enough money to pay for what the agreed experience was. He had condoms on him, he had all the things. So they had more than enough to hold him.
And Yeah. and I had no, I had no idea about anything. I had, I had this belief that I was married to a very safe man. I had this belief. I was, he had told me I was the fourth person he had ever been with and I thought that meant. I was safe because there was this innocence around him and cuz I was also his third wife.
And so I, I believed that I was, I was safe and that he, yes, he worked hard for his family. And yes, I was sometimes distant and not available, but we had three young children and so I excused away a lot.
[00:05:23] Jeremiah: So from what I hear and have heard, researched or whatever is that this is probably not his first time doing this.
[00:05:34] Amanda: he never admitted to more, I’ll tell you that. But it, and it took me some time to really understand all of that because the story he told was very different. The story he told was that they offered children and he very much needed to figure it off. It was real so he could report it if it. , but he didn’t wanna report it otherwise because then he would be getting in trouble for something that was less bad because he did, you know, seek out to meet prostitutes.
That was his story. And I really, as a person with three kids, three young children, who was financially dependent on him, very much wanted to believe that story. And it took me a couple of years actually, before I really saw the truth. And as I was going through my divorce, I actually got the case file unsealed and I got to see the actual transcript between him and the undercover agent.
And that is what really struck home for me, that that was not even remotely the
[00:06:35] Jeremiah: first time. Yeah, I was always wondering that like, Do they actually let the spouse see those or is it something that they don’t really let you see until, or maybe not even after the trial,
[00:06:47] Amanda: but so no, you can’t see the evidence because they’re, they’re in the business of actually protecting their evidence.
And when you’re the spouse and you’re also trying to protect your family and you don’t know what side you’re on, I, I actually refused to meet the agent at first because I was like, I, I don’t trust you, . And so it wasn’t until after, after everything was over and I was going through the divorce that I was going through and I was.
Fighting for safety for myself and my kids, because things got pretty nasty between us after all of that, that I actually called the district attorney and asked for help. And he was the one who said that case files are actually public record. Once the case is over, they just have to do some work to redact personal information.
So they have to take off phone numbers and names and things, but once they do that, it’s completely public record. And so he did that for me so that I could have it, and I was able to read the truth of the data from the officer’s standpoint and the actual conversation between him and the agent
[00:07:53] Jeremiah: themselves.
So I, I’m assuming he got a call or like how did you initially find out about it? Was it a call from him, from jail or,
[00:08:02] Amanda: So I found, I called dispatch. I called the non-emergency line and I said my husband didn’t come home. And they said, Well, here, try the jail . And I was like, Okay, I’ll call you right back.
Like, that’s how I felt. I’ll just, I’ll call you right back. But clearly that’s not where he is. And that’s when I found him. And I found him in jail at five o’clock in the morning. They didn’t let him call me until 11 o’clock the next day. And I already at that point knew where he was. I was already in a lawyer’s office actually, because I, I thought somebody had maybe stolen his wallet.
That’s how, out of disbelief that I was, I was like, There’s no way this is real. And so my instinct was to protect my family, which included him at the time. And so that meant go to the lawyer’s office, go figure it out. Cuz I couldn’t talk to him in, in, on the jail phone that I knew better than to do that.
And so I needed to find somebody who could.
[00:08:59] Jeremiah: So Did you ever get a chance to talk with him like face to face after that fact?
[00:09:06] Amanda: Yeah. So he two days later I bailed him out and was able to have conversations with him and he. He never went back to jail. Actually, he got probation only so we can, we can have that conversation about the brokenness of the system there for you.
But he, he only got four years of probation for all of that. But after he was out of this initial arrest, cuz he only spent two days in jail, we had lots of conversations and what he admitted to was prostitutes but denied children. And so for me, standing in this space where all of a sudden my entire safety and my entire reality was blowing up, but it seemed like he was gonna be in a whole lot of trouble for something that was way worse than what he actually was guilty for.
And I was left in this, how do we, how do I, how do I proceed place with, by myself with three young.
[00:10:02] Jeremiah: Yeah, that’s gotta be the hardest part is like you were relying on him and you know, what are you supposed to do now? Like, wait, .
[00:10:12] Amanda: Right. And all I knew to do was to protect my family. That’s the, And I had, I had tons of my own trauma from my own dad taking off when I was young.
And this belief that my mom took him away from me, that I had when I was a kid. And I really didn’t want that to be my kid’s experience either. And so I, I really felt like I had no choice but to stand by him and to support him through the criminal trial and try to figure out if we could even resolve anything, because I still didn’t believe at the time that he was dangerous.
He was just broken, is really what it felt like. And as somebody who’s always wanted to help other people, I took the role of he’s gonna be better if I support him. And then my kids will be better because they’ll have a. And that’s, that’s what I talked to myself into essentially, so that I stayed with him through that whole ordeal.
[00:11:11] Jeremiah: Yeah. I know a lot of people want to pass judgment and stuff, but like, if you’re in that situation, you don’t know how you’re gonna react, how you’re gonna handle it. I mean, just think about you’re relying on someone to basically keep you living and keep a roof over your head and food on the table and it’s not as easy to just, you know, walk away or step away.
[00:11:35] Amanda: and I mean, we had savings. It wasn’t like we were, you know, living paycheck to paycheck by any means, but my entire security of who I was and my identity was wrapped up into it. And so it’s, it’s much more complex than people realize. You know, you say, Oh, I would never, but you’re not in that situation.
And when your, your whole world is literally. Changed like this. You, you don’t know what you’re gonna do until you’re there.
[00:12:02] Jeremiah: So then, um, let’s dive into the broken court system and stuff. Cuz I’m sure , I’m sure you have a lot to say. Oh man, about that. Um, how the heck did he only get four years probation now to this?
[00:12:16] Amanda: I know, I know. Well, and this is the other thing I, I found out later that, that from the feds were involved in this, but it was still a state. Uh, the state of Colorado is who was actually charging him. And it was, and didn’t go to federal court. But they never searched our house. They never questioned me.
They never caught off to the children. They never did anything else. And when you talk to the federal agents, they believe there should have been a whole lot more done because there was a whole lot more evidence likely to find. But it never went there. And so, When all, all that essentially happened is whatever they were able to get from that original conversation, and they took his laptop in his, in his phone, but they never even like went into it because they offered immediately, like there wasn’t even a back and forth and a conversation.
The first offer on the table was only probation, Four years of probation. He had to register as a sex offender, had to go through a treatment program, but that’s it. That’s it. A, a privileged white man was able to get four years of probation for meeting an 11 and 14 year old for sex. That’s that really there is the brokenness of the court
[00:13:31] Jeremiah: system.
Now, as far as your children are concerned, does he have no ability to contact them or
[00:13:39] Amanda: he was able to after his arrest because in the state of Colorado there was new statutes made that actually said your constitutional right to parent. Trump’s a lot of these other stuff. And so actually as soon as he pled guilty, the statute enacted that he was now able, essentially to have access to his kids again.
And so he actually moved back home for a little while. He moved back in, in 2017 after he pled guilty. He wasn’t allowed access to any other children. He had a com. The, the fact that he was on sex append probation meant he no schools, no any, any place kids are, but his own kids were different. And so it added a huge layer of complexity to our lives for him to be like that.
Now, after the divorce and everything that we’ve gone through since then, he is allowed technically supervised visitation, although he has not ever exercised it, and we haven’t heard from him in over two
[00:14:34] Jeremiah: years. Oh. So he just completely
[00:14:36] Amanda: vanished . As soon as I, as soon as the divorce was final, and I essentially received full decision making.
He wasn’t interested anymore. Uh,
[00:14:46] Jeremiah: well it’s probably for the better cuz I hate to say it,
[00:14:50] Amanda: it it’s the hardest, it is the hardest, best case scenario to, to have because it meant my kids lost a parent. And that’s, that is not an easy thing to talk about. But the reality is, is we are safe, we are stable and there isn’t the amount of chaos in our life anymore.
Because what we haven’t talked about is what all happened from about 2017 to 2020. And that’s when my eyes got woken up to the truth of what I was actually living with.
[00:15:19] Jeremiah: Oh, we’ll get into that then, cuz I, Cause I want to hear about all that of course. But um, it
[00:15:26] Amanda: gets, it actually gets worse, which is hard to say, but it does.
[00:15:29] Jeremiah: So we’ll get into that in a just a moment. But, uh, yeah, when I say like, it’s probably best that he disappeared, I mean it in the fact that like, unfortunately a lot of, uh, child predators and stuff. Doesn’t seem to matter if it’s family or not. And, um, it’s better that you don’t have to worry about is he doing something with your own children or any of their friends or, you know what I’m saying?
[00:15:56] Amanda: Yes, it is, It’s, and it’s better that because of where the relationship between him and I went and the amount of parental alienation that became involved and the amount of manipulation and the amount of personality disorders that came out about him that I was dealing with, the, the trauma that I was experiencing.
I entered into a state of full PTSD every time I even communicated with him. So I wasn’t okay either. And for the kids to be going back and forth in that situation and me to be having to fight now the family court system after I had supported him in the criminal court system, I had to essentially fight the family.
To prove that he was a danger to the kids. And having to go through all of that meant I wasn’t okay. And so the kids didn’t have a good, stable person. And now, and now I’m okay. And so we’re okay.
[00:16:46] Jeremiah: Yeah. And that’s, that’s the best thing is you guys are stable and doing well. And of course that trauma from, and that, you know, memory will never go away, but, um, at least you can start to move on now.
[00:16:59] Amanda: well, and it, we’re working on it, right. I don’t, I don’t believe it’ll never go away, but we learn from it and we, you know, they, they have, they have people in their lives now that are, that are able to support them. And yes, that loss will never be gone in a sense, but they also don’t have to deal with anything they were dealing with before.
[00:17:19] Jeremiah: So it’s kind of wild to me like the amount of predators there are out there. Like, it’s kind of scary actually, cuz it’s like I worked with a guy who. Um, was out on the medical leave from our job and during that time he went to a family friend’s house and, um, raped their seven year old daughter and like filmed it and like all these other details I’m not gonna get into cuz it’s disgusting.
But, um, it was crazy to think, and this is a guy I just talked to, like a normal coworker and had no
[00:17:56] Amanda: clue. Well, and, and most people honestly were vastly shocked. He was, you know, he was well respected at his, in his job. He’d been in the company 12 years. People, people knew him. He’d, he’d lived in that town for years, you know, they’d been there since the nineties.
Like he knew everybody. And when it came public, because it was in the paper, it’s very, it was very public information. The amount of shock was pretty . Nobody thought that of him. And it made them question everything about what they knew to be true in their worlds too. , did you think you know somebody, you spend years with them and you think you know them and then you find out they have this entire other life?
[00:18:36] Jeremiah: Yeah, it is definitely shocking. And have you had a chance to talk with his family at all and find
[00:18:42] Amanda: out? So once the, So I, we, we were communicating until the divorce and I have not also heard from them since then as well. So the children also lost to Grand grandparent, grandma and aunts and all of that.
They, they have chosen to stay away. And again, on the one hand that’s hard, but I also think they are connected to him still. And so all ties have been cut. But
[00:19:05] Jeremiah: like when it actually, first, like when he first got arrested and stuff mm-hmm. , Did his parents say anything to you? They
[00:19:12] Amanda: were his mom, his, his dad had passed away already, but his mom actually was like, this isn’t him.
And you know, the kids need him and she was pushing all of the same stories that he was and that I was, There wasn’t any belief that this could have been. True. And actually it was his sister who used this analogy. It’s like if you were a, if you’re a drug dealer and somebody offers you some rare tiger, you can’t exactly report it.
And that’s this analogy that they were going through. Like, yeah, okay. He was doing some stuff, but he’s not that. Oh, so they
[00:19:44] Jeremiah: were kind of in denial. Sounds like.
[00:19:47] Amanda: Completely. And that was the same story that he fed me, that I really tried to hold onto until I couldn’t. So
[00:19:53] Jeremiah: then we’ll fast forward and like you said, um, between 2017 and 2020, you had some stuff happen.
Can you kind of like go into that and explain?
[00:20:06] Amanda: Yes. So, uh, 2017 I went back to work. Actually, I went back to work because somebody needed to at that point. Um, we were, we, we weren’t out of savings, but we weren’t forever money. And I had been outta work for six years. It was, it was time I went back to work.
And what happened when I went back to work, Cause I started to. See into the experience differently. I started to recognize I was living in this little fantasy bubble where everything was gonna be fine, and as soon as I stepped out, I was terrified that anybody was ever gonna connect the dots of this is who I was married to.
And it was this, this tug of war within myself because I was enjoying being outside of the world and outside of being a mom and a wife and all of these things. But I really didn’t want anybody to know anything about my life, . And so I was in this, this really horrible position and I started to find myself recognizing that if both of my worlds couldn’t connect, which one was the problem.
And I started to really want to reach outside of this world. I wanted to learn more. I actually started finding myself attracted to a coworker. I started wanting to date different people. I was like, What is going on? What is I? How do I, What do I, How do I do this? And I actually turned to substances for a brief period of time.
I was. Drinking half a bottle of wine every day, just to even look at my husband at that point, because I was starting to really feel everything that had actually gone down. And it felt like I, There was ghosts in the bedroom at all times like that. That’s how it felt to me. Every person he had ever been with, every time he looked at me, he’d be like, Oh, that’s how you looked at them.
That’s how it would, that’s what would come up. And, And so I just started checking out. I started checking out of the marriage. I started checking out. I told him that I was gonna go date to other people and that we could try to figure out how to make things calm for the kids. But I wasn’t interested anymore.
It was like, I need to get out of this situation. And as I started to do that, what happened is because my support for him changed, so did his behavior. And so it was like he was trying to keep me attached to him. And I was starting to see how manipulative. He was, and I started to get, he started to write me letters.
He started to just pour all of this stuff in a really inappropriate way. He wrote me this letter that actually admitted to every single thing he’d ever done in the marriage that had hurt me, except he admitted to doing it with complete awareness and callous. And he thought that this was gonna bring me back to him.
It’s like I didn’t know who you were at all. I thought you were just depressed and having a hard time, but you’re actually saying you did this on purpose because you knew you could manipulate me. And, and I just started to see more and more of this come to the surface. And it just started to push me away further and further.
But I still, at the time believed he was at least a safe dad. And so I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to, how to divorce somebody on sex offender or probation and have it make any sense. And he wanted 50 50. And I was like, How you, you can’t go to their activities. You can’t go to the park. It doesn’t make sense.
And he kept insisting. And then eventually he filed for divorce actually as a way to try to manipulate me to come back to him. It didn’t work. And we eventually had to split households and he, the kids started going back and forth between us four times a week, which was very difficult. And I still had to show up for a lot of the events and the, in the school stuff and everything like that.
But at the time it was, okay, how do we, how do we figure this out? How do we make this work? I don’t know how to make this work. This is makes sense. And what I was doing was I was giving my power again to the system because I didn’t un, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to be true. My body was saying this isn’t safe and this isn’t okay, but I don’t, I don’t have another way to do it.
And so I would hire the lawyers and I, we hired a parental rights evaluator and we had somebody go through and say, What do we, how do we do this? And as that happened, the entire year of 2018 was. fighting essentially. And, and through 2019, like the end of 2018 is when he filed for divorce. And then 2019 was probably the worst, the worst year of all of it, because his mental health got worse.
The kids were now going back and forth between us four times a week. They started to be alienated against me, which means he was giving them information like, Mommy left us, Mommy did this, Mommy won’t forgive me, and that’s why we can’t live together. And so the kids were talking to me about why, why won’t I forgive daddy and why can’t we be together?
And, and they were starting to be angry at me for doing this. And so it was just getting worse and worse and worse. And then my middle child, who was seven at the time, started to get more sexual with me. He sat in my lap and tried to kiss on me. And then he had this, the, the worst thing that ever has come out of my child’s mouth is he said, Sometimes I suck on daddy’s fingers.
and I about fucking lost it. Oh, I would’ve and right, and I just, I started to see the things going on in that household, and I started to get this feeling of grooming coming forward. I started to recognize what was actually happening, because I don’t think anything went further, but it was this, this feeling of, I’m gonna, I’m gonna push the boundaries.
I’m gonna, I’m gonna see what I can do. I’m gonna make a little uncomfortable, and I’m gonna normalize inappropriate behavior and do so in a way where the kids are already stressed, where everything is, they already are gonna like me more because I’m gonna give them video games in, in candy, and I’m gonna bribe them into all the things.
And, and I was the only one who could hold the boundary of what we actually needed to do. And so it was this constant battle. And I tried cps, I called CPS on him when my, when my son said that. They didn’t do anything. Probation polygraphed him, but they didn’t polygraph him with any sense of what I actually reported.
They just polygraphed him to see whether things had gone too far. And so they cleared him all as well. No problem. Totally , totally fine. And I was, I was so stressed because of not just what was potentially happening under the service, but because of any, any conversations with him at that point were instant conflict.
He had been using the kids as a way to manipulate me. So if there was a conversation about what we should do with a child, oh, we had to have a big debate about it. We had to have a conversation about it. We had to use it at a way to control me in some way. And so I started, I just saw more and more and more and more of that, and I was.
Going out of my mind essentially with how do I, what do I do? How do I get out of this? The system is so broken that I now have to fight in family court to protect my kids from a man who just a few years ago tried to meet an 11, 14 year old for sex when I’m showing that he, some of this inappropriate behavior is starting to come out in my children.
And nobody, nobody seems to think it was a problem, . And it just like, what? And eventually what actually happened is my, my therapist sent me to a psychic. So here’s what, here’s where we get into the spiritual part. But my therapist sent me to a psychic and I didn’t, didn’t believe any of this to be true at the time.
I was totally like, Is that real? Are you sure? And this is my like regular mental health therapist because I’m telling her all these things and I’m like, all of these reports and evaluations and nobody’s helping me and what is going on and how do I. Do this. I felt like I was doing everything in my, in my power.
And so she’s like, Well, have you ever considered? And I was like, I mean, I’ll try anything at this point. Fine. Send me to send me your lady . And so, you know, and to preface here, I worked in it. Like I found a very, I was a, I was an IT manager at a manufacturing company. My mom had been spiritual. I had completely rejected all of it.
I was very agnostic. And so that’s, but I was, okay, fine. If somebody thinks they can help me, I will go . And I went to see this lady and what she was sharing with me was she was reading a past life between us where he had beaten me to death. And as she was sharing the story, my entire body physi, like physically responded.
And I, the level of fear that I had felt with from him and, and the things that had happened came back to the surface and I was like, Oh my God. This, this could, this is real. My body was remembering. And what I realized in that moment is that I had been holding onto fear. That wasn’t even the current fear because he was, he had never physically put a hand on me in this life.
And his, his demons were different in this life. And, and so I had to recognize that I had been operating from fear that wasn’t even real, really. And I had to make a choice and I had to make a shift, and I had to do that with everything that I was. And that day in the psychic was the beginning of my spiritual awakening.
And it was the beginning of me changing everything about how I operated, because six weeks after that, I had full custody of the kids. And that, that moment literally changed everything. .
[00:29:25] Jeremiah: Yeah. And I think, um, this isn’t really related to that, but like, well it kind of is, but , I think when you finally finish the divorce and everything, it kind of released that grip that he had on you.
And I think that has to do with why he just disappeared. Cuz he’s like, Oh, I can’t really control her anymore. I can’t manipulate her anymore. Exactly. And cause it seems like that’s truly how it felt. Yeah. That type of person, they, they get off on the control and the, the manipulation and, and like I said before when we were talking in the beginning is like, with these predators, there’s no really no bounds.
So if he was starting to groom your own kids and stuff like that, I mean, it sounds pretty farfetched to the normal person, but like when you see other reports and watch other things, it’s, it’s not that farfetched like it’s, it happens.
[00:30:20] Amanda: It does, and it’s, it’s terrifying. And you try to, you truly try to excuse it away because it seems that can possibly, what’s happening, there’s gotta be another explanation.
And, and that’s how grooming works, right? It’s just barely pushing the boundary, but the underlying energy of what they’re doing is very devious. And so it’s, it’s, it’s hard to truly trust yourself in those situations because, well, there’s clearly another explanation that’s kids are being kids, they’re just being silly, right?
Like it’s, it’s, it’s the energy underneath it. It’s the way that my son felt to me when he was saying that it’s, it’s all of these other pieces and then it’s looking at the big picture going, Well, holy shit, , Right? But you’re so right. It was about control of me. All of it was actually about control of me.
The, the fight, the divorce, the all of it. And the moment the judge basically said, I get full decision making and I don’t have to tell him, talk about anything. , that was it, because she did actually give him an opportunity. If he had done a bunch of different things and complied with the court’s requirements, including a bunch of other evaluations and disclosures, he could actually have some physical time with them.
And he chose not to. He chose not to. And then the other option was supervised visitation. And like I said, it’s been since April of 2020 since we’ve heard from him in any capacity.
[00:31:41] Jeremiah: Yeah, so he just, he bounced and um, unfortunately, he’s probably out doing something he shouldn’t be doing. I mean, I hope not.
I hope he’s not, I
[00:31:50] Amanda: have no idea. And I don’t wanna know, to be honest, . But it’s cra it’s, I’ve, I’ve taken the blessing, I’ve taken the blessing of the gift of space. And if that’s the last gift that he gives his children, is the freedom to go live their own lives without his burdens. That’s the best and most beautiful gift he could have given.
[00:32:10] Jeremiah: Yeah, cuz that thing that your son said and everything, that’s not normal for a a seven year old to, to say no.
[00:32:17] Amanda: And there’s more, I mean, there’s more we could, we could go on and on. I don’t need to to push all of the buttons here, but no, none of it was normal. None of it was okay. And, and my middle son was the primary target because of his, he was extra sensitive, he was much more empathetic.
He was an easy target. Yeah.
[00:32:33] Jeremiah: And these predators, they kind of can sense that. Yes.
[00:32:36] Amanda: Oh, absolutely. It’s, they’re the perfect targets for them in a lot of ways because those, the kids who can feel the emotions, because predators are just wound wounded themselves. I mean, truly they didn’t get that way without something happening to them on some level.
And the, you know, you, these, the kids can feel that wounded child inside of them and so they want to help them. They want to make them feel. and that, that makes them perfect targets.
[00:33:05] Jeremiah: Yeah. I listened to this guy on YouTube and um, he used to, before he started doing the YouTube thing, um, he used to work as a counselor for children who have gone through like sexual abuse and stuff like that, and household trauma.
Mm-hmm. , he says like, almost every kid that is starting to become a sexual predator has had it happen to them.
[00:33:31] Amanda: Yes, Yes. And I never found, he never admitted to anything. Nobody ever said anything, but there’s no, to me, something happened at some point that either he’s, he’s covered up, he hasn’t, you know, been able to actually feel, but something I, I truly believe that too.
So then, which is hard right. Cycle repeats
[00:33:53] Jeremiah: itself. Oh yeah. And it, it’s a terrible thing, but it’s the reality of. . Yep. And then the system being broken and not like really taking care of and dealing with these people .
[00:34:06] Amanda: Right. Well, exactly. They’re not, you know, there’s this belief actually that the sex offenses are more, um, that the treatment programs for them are actually more successful and that they’re rehabilitation is more successful than some other things.
And it’s really interesting that that’s the statutes. Um, and so they have this, this belief that their programs are amazing and so it’s okay. They can just be back in the world all
[00:34:34] Jeremiah: as well, when in reality the predators usually are habitual and do it all over and over and over again. ,
[00:34:44] Amanda: They do. And at least in my ex’s case, He’s actually a very, very bright, intelligent man.
He and you know, probably has got IQs off the charts and he knew exactly how to manipulate the system as well. He knew what it meant to be following the rules. He knew what it meant to be learning in this way, that they, they believed he understood what he was, he had done and he was taking accountability and all of these pieces, but he was so, he was smart enough to, to know how to play that system also.
Oh yeah,
[00:35:17] Jeremiah: sure. So this, uh, meeting with the psychic or whatever, kind of sparked your mm-hmm. your spiritual journey. It did.
[00:35:26] Amanda: It did. Because afterwards I went, Well, if she can talk to the angels, I can too. That was my response to it. , Right. If, if she can help shift this, I need to learn more. I, I need to be able to connect to beyond the physical.
I’m not just gonna go hire somebody every time I’ve got a question I need, I need to do this. And I also saw how much I shifted myself in my energy and how much power I had been giving to the systems, to him himself, to everybody. And what I had actually done in that session with her was shifting my energy so drastically that I stopped letting anybody else decide what the outcome was gonna be.
And so that’s when I started asking for help. That’s when I said I stopped hiding. I stopped saying, Okay, this is the situation I’m in. Who do you know that can help me? And who do they know who can help me? And I actually got connected to Homeland Security, found the arresting officer. I got the case file on sealed.
Like all of these dominoes started to come into play. As soon as I asked for help in a different way. Instead of, help me figure this out, I don’t know what to do. It was, I need to protect myself and my kids. How can you help me do. It’s a very different way that I approached it. And so once I realized that, that’s what shifted it, and that’s what gave me this outcome where I actually succeeded at the near impossible in the state we were in.
I went, I can do anything and I need to connect to more. I need to learn more. And, and then covid hit like two weeks later. And so it gave me the perfect opportunity also to really dive deep because I left my corporate job and I was full-time stay at home again with my three kids in a pandemic. And so I jumped headfirst into learning into every spiritual group I could find.
I joined an energy healing program. I was, I decided I needed to figure this one out. I needed to connect to more. And what I eventually figured out is I had been doing it on some level the whole time. I just didn’t have the language or understanding of what I was doing. And I was always sensitive on some level, but I had been so unsafe in my body that I didn’t know how to listen to the messages I was receiving.
And when I got into these groups with these other psychic women, and my answers were just as complete, I was like, Well, I’m doing this. I didn’t know I could do this. And, and it just sparked this new level of, of confidence and understanding in myself. And, and the channels turned on and the messages came through and I, Okay, I know how to do this, and my body senses turned on and, and now I can feel other people’s pain in my body because I can, I can feel my body in a new way and I can help them figure out where they’re storing their stuff.
And it’s just, it’s, it’s taken off from
[00:38:17] Jeremiah: there. Yeah. And you were talking about like, um, time and mm-hmm. Yep. Quantum healing and stuff like that. What have you, what have you found through your research for that kind of stuff?
[00:38:29] Amanda: So, so anything in the quantum to me means it’s outside of our understanding of time and space.
It’s outside of the linear space and time that we know in our three dimensional reality. And so when, when I talk quantum, I’m, I’m talking about looking at the past versions of you and the future of versions of you to create the version of you that you desire today, whether that be in your business, whether that be with your body healing, whether that be in your relationships, it’s all the same.
And so what this actually, I got this new download recently that’s the cool, about the coolest thing I’ve ever gotten. But what I actually was seeing is that gravity itself, we hold gravity as humans. The gravity of our consciousness, the weight, and the importance that we place on the things we do, gravity is actually what bends time.
And I was able to, I got this whole visual and download about it, and it was the coolest thing at like, if you have ever been. You had the best sex of your life and you’ve been with this person and you’re having this best time, and it feels like it’s been 10 minutes and you look at the clock and it’s been two hours.
Have you ever had that experience? Everybody’s had that experience on some level, and that is exactly how you bent time at your experience when you were having, You’re having so much fun and it feels like it went so fast and yet , Wait a minute. How did, how did that happen? And so the, the way we experience time is unique to our individual consciousness based on the amount of gravity we have in that situation.
And so what I’ve been able to do is actually deconstruct this into a way that I can help people contain their own gravity. Within themselves. Because the way we actually fight ourselves with this is the dualities that we hold within ourselves, right? We, we talk about dualities in the world, but we have a whole lot that we hold within our bodies, the ways that we wanna do something and we don’t wanna do something.
And the ways that we’re gonna do it this way, no, we’re gonna, this way. Our family showed us that this is how we work in the world. So we’re gonna do the exact opposite, but it’s the same energy. And so we hold these dualities within ourselves, and that’s actually what makes it difficult for us to actually move forward with the gravity of what we’re trying to do.
And so I’ve, I’ve been really enjoying playing with this, and I actually built an entire program around it that started today, in fact, um, to help people contain their own gravity and master their gravity so that they too can play with bending time. Because what I’ve discovered is that if we put the gravity in the right place of what we’re doing, the people experience, say a business launch for instance, In a way that will work to your advantage instead of your disadvantage.
If the gravity is on the transformation or the thing that they want, they’re not gonna look at the dollars. But if you’re putting something out there and you’ve got all of this weight on, I gotta pay my bills and I gotta charge this much because this is what it needs to be, they’re gonna feel it and they’re gonna go, Oh, I don’t wanna pay your bills.
No thanks, . Right? And so I can use this, this, this methodology for so many different things, and it’s a really fun way to play in the quantum of space. And I can actually relate it back to my own trauma of what I, what I did when I shifted, because I had started putting the weight of my safety and my security, and I was taking back my power instead of giving it to the system.
And I literally bent time. I, I got six weeks later and we had had an 18 month long custody fight. Six weeks later I had full custody. Like it didn’t make any sense , but I, I did that then I just didn’t understand what I did. And now that I do, I can actually bring it forward in a way to help other people also.
[00:42:13] Jeremiah: Yeah. And I, I think about this kind of stuff too. It’s like, and you always hear it, the, you know, doesn’t matter what job you do, you always hear like, why is lunch go so fast? And then the rest of the day just like drags on .
[00:42:27] Amanda: That’s why, because time is not this linear thing. It’s, it’s at the experience of your, your individual consciousness.
And we have, we can go on and on, I can go into more detail about how timelines work and all of these things. As I’m playing with it and exploring with it, more data comes through because now I’ve recognized I can, I can tap into more and receive more information and it, it drops in in these crazy ways.
And the, the way information comes to me, I’m just like sitting there and it’s like, whoa. That was a crazy visual. And I almost start laughing at myself as I’m playing out how all of this can work because it’s the coolest thing ever. And, and I’ve had many experiences like that and it’s just increasing at this
[00:43:16] Jeremiah: point.
Yeah. So do you think like time is kind of like, I don’t know what they say, it’s just a human construct, like, because I know a lot in academia and stuff, they talk about time is linear and then you just go from one time to another and it just continues. But then you have the other camp that’s like, time is everything all at once
[00:43:40] Amanda: and.
It’s, that’s where I stand. Everything is now the, the difference is the level of your consciousness and how you are experiencing it. And so you experience time based on where your consciousness is sitting. And we have this collective agreement of right now what this 3D experience of time is. But they’ve even done studies where you put a clock at the top of a mountain, at the bottom of the mountain and they will disagree about time.
And it’s because the gravity pull is different. And so we can, we can play with this all day long, but time is all now and we can tap into the All Now. But we also live in a 3D world. And so knowing that isn’t as useful unless you know how to work with it within the construct of this exist. .
[00:44:29] Jeremiah: Yeah. And then, um, I’ve been hearing a lot lately, well, not a lot lately, but I’ve heard over time and I’m in like a Facebook group that’s called Glitches in the Matrix and
Um, it’s really cool. Like people post crazy stuff on
[00:44:44] Amanda: there. I’m sure. It sounds like my kind of Facebook group. .
[00:44:48] Jeremiah: Yeah. They’ll, they’ll post something like, uh, I don’t know, three, three things that you probably would rarely ever see, but they’re all in the same place and they’re like glitching the Matrix or whatever, or like something, something that just isn’t right.
They’ll take a picture of it.
[00:45:03] Amanda: Or like the Mandela effects that people post, Right. That kind of thing. Yeah.
[00:45:06] Jeremiah: Or the Mandela effect. They’ll post that kind of stuff. And just some, anything that doesn’t seem right or like something that is like frozen in space or something, or there’s something like wrong with the clouds and they’re like li in the Matrix or whatever.
But it’s a cool group. But um, A lot of people in there have been talking about how, it seems like time overall seems to have sped up. Yes. Especially since the beginning of the pandemic.
[00:45:34] Amanda: Yes, I agree with you. And, and to me that says the level of level of frequency of consciousness has risen, which I think a lot of people in a more awaken state would say, there’s more people waking up.
And as well as the more gravity of what we’re doing is increased the importance that the people waking up have a huge amount of weight of what they’re doing. They know we’re here to do big things and, and they, they operate with that and they move forward in the world with that. And the businesses they start are with the weight of what we are doing.
And so collectively, time has sped up because there’s more people operating in a faster.
[00:46:15] Jeremiah: Yeah, I totally think, and this is just my belief, so I’m sure other people believe it and some people are probably like, Nah, you’re not right. But, um, , my belief is like, we are at like a pivotal point in time right now, and I think it’s, you’re starting to see that shedding of the veil, so to speak, and like people are becoming more conscious, they’re becoming more aware of what’s going on.
Like you see like a lot more protest against the systems and you see a lot more people trying to figure out their purpose and their path. And whereas before you kind of just, everyone kind of just fell in line. Everyone was kind of just, you know, doing their thing. But like you hear the whole quiet quitting movement and you hear about all these people starting their own, uh, programs and businesses and stuff like that.
And I think a lot of people are, are starting to wake up and realize like their importance and what, what we’re meant to do.
[00:47:15] Amanda: I, I totally agree with you. I, I think that in the next couple of years, things are gonna just get more intense, actually. And that’s not a bad thing because it takes that intensity for things to truly change.
As I had a very micro version of it in my life, it was a very intense thing that changed everything. We’re, we’re doing that now on a collective level and thing. The pressure cooker is just getting more and people are starting to go, Okay, I don’t wanna live like that. I don’t wanna just do work for somebody else so that I can retire at 65 and not ever live my life.
I don’t, I don’t want that and I don’t want that for my kids, and I don’t want that for anybody. And so how can I live differently?
[00:48:00] Jeremiah: Yeah, definitely. And. Yeah, it’s just something I’ve been paying attention to, especially with doing this podcast and also my own nerdy self that likes to research things and look into things and be on crazy Facebook groups called Glitches and Matrix and stuff.
but because all I, I like all that stuff and I like, I like observing humanity. I know that sounds kind of weird, but, um, so I kind of notice these things and I notice also we’re at a time where that pressure, like you said, is really happening and you see a lot of people that are like, kind of weighed down and you can kind of tell and feel their aura is, is kind of weighed down and they’re just waiting for that moment to shift.
And, um, yeah. So no,
[00:48:51] Amanda: there’s a bigger divide of people. There’s the people rising and there’s the people who are getting heavier. And so it’s this almost this elastic thing that at some point’s gonna pop and. It’s gonna be a very interesting, exciting time in some regard. And also very hard, depending on which perspective you’re standing.
And I think that’s the thing is it’s all at the perspective of where we are. And the more we can observe what’s happening and not have a stake in this sand, the more information and the easier it is actually gonna be for us.
[00:49:23] Jeremiah: So you were saying you were, uh, agnostic or Yes. Uh, didn’t really believe in anything.
What would you say you are now?
[00:49:32] Amanda: Oh, if I had to put a label on it, Oh man, . Um, I don’t, I, I would say that I’m definitely spiritual. Do I? Do I believe in a God, a one almighty? No. That’s, and I don’t even prescribe to, We are one to me. We are actually all, it’s not one, We’re not duality. We’re not, we are, we are part of the all.
And so recognizing that everybody is energy and everybody is moving with gravity in the world. All of that is that we can actually connect to that, all that network and get more information. And, and I, I truly believe there is more out there than this human planet and there is much more out there, and that we can connect to the energies beyond this planet as well.
And that there’s more that our human mind cannot even remotely start to comprehend. And every time we try to translate it into a 3D concept, Misses some pieces, but we’re getting better and we’re getting more understanding as we evolve, as our consciousness evolves. But I can’t, I don’t know if I can put a label on it.
I’m, I live in the quantum, I live in my head . That’s, that’s my spiritual is the belief truly that anything is possible and that anybody is capable of anything, and that we are all magic if we just decide that we’re ready to step into it.
[00:50:52] Jeremiah: And when you say you get these downloads, you’re talking about like the cosmic download, right?
[00:50:56] Amanda: Yes, yes. But I also used to be working with computers, and so I, I literally feel like I’m downloading off the cosmic internet and it’s just pulling into my body, and then I’m like, Ooh, let’s open package .
[00:51:09] Jeremiah: Yeah. They say a lot of like prominent figures through history have talked about it or tapped into it like Tesla and Einstein and Absolutely.
[00:51:20] Amanda: I, I totally agree. I feel like they, they tapped into this what is possible and they stepped into this space of what? More out there. I mean, they, they’re continuing to prove Einstein right now, you know? And, and he’s been dead for so long. And when I’m talking about relative to consciousness, I’m, I’m talking about similar type things.
I was actually looking up his, his math equations cuz I was gonna try to figure out if I can make a math equation for what, what I’m talking about. And, and so it’s, it’s exactly that. It’s, it’s tapping into this other possibility that things are not just the, the new Newtonian version of, you know, the equal and opposite reaction.
That there’s more out.
[00:52:05] Jeremiah: I think like if, if time is not linear and everything is happening, the past, present and future is kind of like in the now and it’s kind of like liquid, no, whatever. Mm-hmm. , whatever that theory is. But then you would think that all the knowledge of the past, present, and future would be available to tap into and kind of like perfect.
Kind of like with your computer term, like you can just kind of tap into that wire or whatever and mm-hmm. .
[00:52:36] Amanda: Mm-hmm. , I can, I can go to the future internet and I can download the, the, the way things need to be. And I feel like in a lot of ways that’s what people are doing. There are so many people who have this vision of, of a new earth, of a new possibility coming forward where we get to like, where did that come from?
Right. Some we’re tapping into something collectively and we all have our interpretation of it. Yes. Because it comes through our own set of data. That we, we interpret, and the way I see it is like I have a database of memories and stories and that’s experiences that I’ve had, things I’ve seen, movies I’ve watched, whatever.
And I have like tags, just like a database. This story means this, this visual means this. This feeling is evoked here. And that when I’m reading Energy in Frequency, it uses that data bank to communicate with me through the visuals and the feelings and all of that. And so everybody’s got their own version of it.
Everybody has their own database because we all have unique experiences, but we’re rating the same energy and reading the same frequencies of what’s going on right now. And if we more of us are tapping into a higher level of consciousness, we’re gonna start tapping into the, the data and the frequencies at that higher level of consciousness that’s gonna help evolve collectively even more.
[00:53:51] Jeremiah: That, like you said, I think anyone can tap into it and. I, I like to write, it’s kind of a hobby line. Mm-hmm. and, um, like write stories and stuff. I’m not the best at it, but I like to write. I’m better at writing out scenes than a, like, complete story, but, um, Oh, interesting. But it, there are times when I’m writing where it seems like it’s not coming from me.
It’s kind of just flowing through me. And, um, Yes,
[00:54:21] Amanda: yes. I’ve had, I’ve had that experience too. It’s like, I don’t even know what that word means that I just wrote .
[00:54:29] Jeremiah: So I think there’s definitely something to it. And then that could also explain, you know, your mediums and your, uh Yep. Psychics and all that kind of stuff.
[00:54:40] Amanda: Absolutely. Absolutely. I, I fully believe that we, at this point, many people on the collective are tapping into something else and the data is coming through us to be shared, not necessarily from us. And that’s how I see it. I’m, I’m, I’m a healer and a, and a coach and a, and a channel, and that if it’s coming through me, it’s because I have access to it.
And yes, I need to go do something about it and I’m going to go about it with my tones and my understanding. But somebody else may receive the exact same information. I mean, they’ve actually seen that happen. People invent the same thing across the globe at the same time, right? They, they tapped into this download somewhere and created it.
Just somebody patented it first. doesn’t matter. Right? . And so it’s really about stepping into the level of self that believes you can and that is willing to try and willing to go pull down that information and do something with it.
[00:55:37] Jeremiah: Yeah. Like if I think of an idea, I guarantee you there’s someone somewhere in the world that’s thinking of the same idea.
May be at the same exact time, .
[00:55:45] Amanda: Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, and that’s the thing, the, the thing people don’t recognize is we have this belief and so many people do that. If it’s in our head, it’s, it’s secret, it’s ours, and it’s this protective space that, that is this magic and that nobody can hear your thoughts and nobody can feel your feelings or anything like that, because we’re in our own bodies.
And that’s about the furthest thing from the truth because most of the thoughts in your head aren’t yours. Most of the feelings you’re feeling aren’t all yours. You’re feeling collective stuff. You’re hearing other people’s stories and things because when people are upset, they’re loud. Their whole fields are very loud
And I’ve actually had this experience where, um, I was mad. I’m, I’m remarried now, so things have gotten lot better. But I was mad. I was mad at my husband. And, but I didn’t know why, like it didn’t make sense, but the stories I was playing in my head weren’t things I would normally be upset about, but they were playing in my head and I was feeling frustrated.
But then I saw him and I saw, and he was stewing in himself, and I realized I had this awareness that I was actually hearing his frustration with himself. But in my head it was coming in in third person because it was to him because it wasn’t, I wasn’t hearing it as he was saying it to himself because my body was interpreting what he would speak to himself as with his name, because.
That was directed to his energy. And the moment I had that awareness, all of the emotion vanished. All of my upsetness vanished. And I was just watching him and I went, I was hearing his spin about what was going on in his body. And yes, I was interpreting it through my lensing, but this wasn’t about me at all.
I, I, I didn’t care. I wasn’t angry at all, . And when I brought that awareness up to him, it was like, I’m, you know, I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m not upset. I’m okay , but this happens more and more and more in my life now where I recognize. How many thoughts are not my own and how many feelings are not my own, and that it, that really truly self is quiet.
Our, our own own selves is very, very quiet until we are asking for information. And so we’re pulling stuff down and that all of this spin is, is the noise? Is the noise going on around us? Yeah.
[00:58:09] Jeremiah: And that’s why it’s always recommended to do like some type of meditation. Yep. Cause you kind of just sit in nothingness,
I mean, it’s hard at first cuz your mind’s racing and
[00:58:20] Amanda: it can be. Right. I found moving meditation easier for myself personally. If I’m moving, I can get outta my head a little easier. Now with practice, I can sit in quiet meditation, but still my preference truly to move because energy is movement and it can really help me if I’m preparing for something or I’m need to, you know, if I’ve got a talk I need to make or a class I need to teach, I’ll actually go for a run and.
and speak it out to myself. And the channel comes through easier for me when I move.
[00:58:51] Jeremiah: Yeah. I’m kind of the same way. Like I have a hard time doing sitting, sitting meditation. I’m much more of a person to take a walk around the neighborhood or go hiking or something like that. Yeah. And kind of just like freeze, freeze up my mind and,
[00:59:07] Amanda: Exactly.
Exactly. And actually at the, I didn’t know what I was doing at the time, but in 2016, I started running on a treadmill as a way to take care of myself. And I, I, I didn’t know how helpful that was gonna be for me, but it really was the only mental health. I had to clear my head for those 45 minutes a day.
And it’s something I still try to do regularly.
[00:59:29] Jeremiah: Yeah. Now that it’s not a hundred degrees in humid down here in North Carolina. Oh yeah. I plan the store, uh, hiking more again. It’s just, Oh. When it gets hot and sticky, it’s like, I don’t, It’s hard. . Yep. Yep. But now that falls hitting. Yeah, I plan to get out more on the trails and take in some nature and clear my head.
So if, um, people wanna find you, where can they find you? And you have a book coming out as well?
[00:59:58] Amanda: I do. So this entire ordeal is written in my book. It is called The Sex Traffickers Wife, and it is going to be released January 10th, 2023. If you want updates directly on the book, you can sign up on my slash book, um, at amanda quick, my website.
You can find other, other ways to work with me if you desire. And on every social media platform. Pretty much. I’m my tag is Amanda quick Healing, so I’m, I’m all over the place, so absolutely reach out. You can send me emails, you can buy my programs . You can just read my
[01:00:34] Jeremiah: book. Yeah. And I’ll link all that in the description of the show and everything.
And, um, Yeah. Thank you for coming on and speaking with us. Um, I know it’s not an easy, easy time that you went through and being able to like, bring it forward and present it and have it in the book and everything, it, I’m sure that will help with your healing process as well.
[01:00:58] Amanda: Well, in writing it was honestly very healing because I got to write it with perspective I have now.
And even though I had to go through it again in a sense to, to write it and edit it and reread it and all of that, I got to do it with a way that it helped me lift all of that up out of my system in a, in a way that I didn’t have access to before. So yes, it’s, it’s hard. It’s not easy, but the message was loud in 2020 that I needed to write this book and it, it took me two years to do and set it down for many months.
But it is finally ready to be out into the wild. And January is sex trafficking awareness month in the us and my intention is to go big with this.
[01:01:40] Jeremiah: Yeah, I hope that it’s a success for you and hopefully the audience listening will, um, will grab a copy and Absolutely, Absolutely. Yeah, I’ll promote it. I’m excited.
Yeah, I’ll promote it for you as well. Um, cuz I think it is important to bring awareness cause there is a lot of that going on and, uh, unfortunately not enough law enforcement to catch it all and No,
[01:02:05] Amanda: no. And they don’t, The system isn’t supporting even the law enforcement. I know when I talked to the cop and the agent, they were upset at how.
At how it went down and they really had hoped for a much bigger outcome for the operations that they put all of their energy into, and it’s not what
[01:02:22] Jeremiah: happened. Yeah. So thank you for coming on again and speaking with us.
[01:02:27] Amanda: Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me.